Rocks can be dangerous things, just ask Goliath. In the interest of the public safety, then, it is high time that we look at the danger that Assault Rocks are in our society. In my unscientific estimate, there are in excess of 8 million rocks for every man woman and child in the United States. That is enough of these potentially lethal weapons for every citizen to wipe out an entire major city, yet we allow these objects to fall into the hands of criminals on a daily basis. Not only that, but large-capacity Assault Rock Magazines are made available at no cost at every major grocery store, in two convenient styles, paper and plastic. These magazines can hold hundreds of Assault Rocks at a time, and pose an even greater risk to society. This is a worldwide problem, with incidents in South Africa, Israel, Honduras, Haiti, and Ireland, to name a few.
Here, finally, is an issue where we can get out in front of the curve. Legislation is needed immediately to protect us from this danger that surrounds us seemingly on all sides. I can't believe that there are still people out there that claim "rocks don't kill people - people kill people." We need to make sure that there is a 2 month waiting period before people are allowed to take possession of rocks, and complete FBI background checks performed in the interim. Smooth stones should be completely prohibited, as they are more aerodynamic, and there is no reason for them other than to hurt or kill people and other living things. No rocks should be allowed within 100 yards of a school or government building. The penalty for carrying rocks onto school property by students should be immediate expulsion, and applied to rocks of any size and shape, from grains of sand (which can insidiously be hidden in childrens' shoes) to boulders (which can cause catastrophic damage). It is important, as part of our necessary zero tolerance policy that all rocks and rock-like substances be included in this ban, lest we set a bad example and promote the idea that some rocks are safe and others are not.
Thanks to Jason Adams for the concept and link to the Aran Islands (Ireland) rock-throwing incident.
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13 years ago
1 comment:
I believe you left some information out of your argument. You seem to have completely looked over the secondary effects rocks have had. Who can forget the tsunami damage? The lives lost, the devastation of entire communities, and why? Why did it have to happen? Because 2 rocks were allowed to collide. These rocks shook the very earth itself. As if that were not enough, the tsunamis caused by this collision destroyed many thousands of lives.
Not only human lives have been affected by the secondary effects of rocks. It has been theorized and popularly believed that a space launched assault rock collided with earth and not only wiped out the entire dinosaur population on earth, but in fact most land based life forms. We are talking loss of life on a global scale that almost defies imagination. It is almost impossible to determine the amount of damage the earth has endured from these space launched assault rocks, but a quick look at the moon tells the story. The multi-mile wide craters, the pocked landscape, the utter destruction evident all over the surface. It makes you cry just to think about it.
Oh, and don’t even get me started don’t the effects of these assault rocks once they are converted to a molten state!!! Anyone ever heard of Pompeii?
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